Standing on Your Promises

This morning I woke up thirty minutes prior to a scheduled phone interview with a recruiter from a hospital in my state of residence. She offered me nights and I prefer days. The starting wage is below my worth. Yet, I told her I would consider it.

After the Covid, healthcare debacle, I will never understand why employers refuse to recognize the importance of nurses, in every capacity. Furthermore, why would I give them my valuable time and energy? While risking my mental health and stability.

Confirming the wresting in my spirit, I saw an interview with Toure' Roberts. He was explaining the pros of saying no and the cons of always saying yes. I will clarify my understanding to the best of my ability because the video disappeared from my Instagram timeline.

The Pros and Cons

Your yes's can deplete you, severely and holistically. Causing you to miss out on opportunities because you are preoccupied in ungodly situations. The door to spiritual warfare is opened. You begin to endure circumstances that God never meant for you to take part in. A wavering mind and instability are precursors to the need to say yes. Even when you want to say no.

Nevertheless, there is a peace in no. Knowing your self-worth, rests in no. Faith in God will require you to say no to man. Don't become ensnared. Most importantly, there is a joy in saying no, knowing that God has something better for you.

How the World Cares for You

People will manipulate you and make you feel less than. They act as if, because of who you are, that you should be grateful that they are offering you anything at all. Hence, the "great resignation". Even when they are aware that you are worth much more. Robbing you of your talents and gifts. Most of all, the time that you can never get back.

I have decided, no more!!! This is a form of evil, and as I have stated before mental and emotional deceit.

While talking with the LORD, I saw people on Instagram praying for others, and that's fine. I am judging no one because I have been there. But I am presently in a place with the Holy Spirit where I don't "pray" per se, I commune with Him. I tell Him what is in my heart. This intimacy is a unique form of fellowship. Even on behalf of others.

My petition

"I expect You to perform Your Word. I expect You to stand on it. Not for my sake because I am unworthy. But for Your name's sake.

Consequently, I picked up my Bible and looked for the promises. As I make supplication to my Father, to do for me, according to His Word.

"Father, first and foremost I seek You. Your kingdom and Your righteousness. Every day. You told me that because of this, You will give me everything that I need. The desires of my heart, according to Your riches and glory. So for this, give me courage not to worry about tomorrow.

I admit that I am human. Not discounting the doubting in my flesh. When I say within myself, what if I say no and nothing happens. Accordingly, I pass up this opportunity and no other door opens.

For this way of thinking, I ask You to increase my faith.  Furthermore, I am tired of being double minded. A trick of the enemy. And I refuse to not receive my blessings because of it.

You tell me You love me. And because I seek You early and diligently, that I will find You. I seek You with deep longing and require Your presence, as a vital necessity. I am empty if I go a day without spending time with You. Becoming so precious to me that it sustains my very life.

Because of this, I expect to find You. Knowing that You are near. (Because there is coming a time...!) I am leaving behind my wicked ways and thoughts, including apprehension, distrust, fear, and hesitation. It is all confusion. Because You chose me, I look to You for compassion, mercy, and forgiveness.

I am praying to You from the book of promises that You have given me to endure this life. I speak and write the vows that You have spoken. Believing in the spiritual and supernatural expectation, connected to Your Word. Knowing that it cannot return unto You void. It must accomplish the things that You proclaim.

I love You and I know that You hear me. I am aware that You love me. And I thank You for hearing me. As always, I am in awe of You."

The Revelation

There is an anointing on my life, that I see when working with ill patients. Even though this season is ending. Your promise to me. "I have come to preserve life". And I am a chosen vessel for Your use. There is no value that can be attributed to Your favor and consecration as Your servant.

So, I refuse to continue to be insulted. By your refusal to offer me your best. And yet you expect optimal performance from me. Whether lacking supplies, malfunctioning equipment, cumbersome political satire and every other obstacle that detracts from the care that I need to expend towards my patients.

You are blessed when I enter your facility. Even if you may not be when I leave. Understand that if I am not accepted, I will wipe the dust off my feet as a testimony against you. And keep it moving!

In the end it is the patients that suffer because nurses of my caliber, with my level of integrity, work ethic, and moral compass, has been lacking and is becoming nonexistent. This is across every discipline as a whole.

I don't say this to boast. It is evidenced by what I see every day. Since becoming a nurse. And it is escalating.

When the Word says that hearts will wax colder and colder, it did not say, with the exception of certain professions. This anomaly is based on the individual.

If transparency, honesty, and graciousness cannot be reciprocated, then maybe it is time for me to move on. As I will reiterate, seasons change.

Originally written on June 08, 2022.

Benevolent Woman