Benevolent Woman's Blog

  You See Me A message to all my admirers. Past and present. One thing that I am cognizant of as a nurse and a woman of God, is the lengths that people will go to. To go out of their way to watch me. I have asked God about this many times. People that are so focused on me that they sit in corners and even follow me around. Just watching. Conversely, even when you are silent, you speak loud and clear. While experiencing this on the job, here are my thoughts. "You are so fixated on me when you have patients that are in need of care." How exactly does that work? But by God's grace, this won't end well for you! You are trying to see if I am walking my talk. It is as if you have tunnel vision. The Revelation This is a sinister spirit. Furthermore, what is strange, is that I will never in my life make you my focal point. I just don't feel the need. You seek to sabotage me. And it is the helpless people in your care that suffers. You attempt to dig a ditch. But you don...

  The Power of the Spirit Have you ever literally heard someone speak in the Spirit? They are nowhere around you. You have never met them or know anything about them. But you know this because God manifests the action(s) that confirm exactly what you heard. Albeit this has happened to me many times. But there were two time that were very distinct. Causing me to foolishly stumble into situations that hurt my heart. Even so, this morning I woke, my first thought was to say that I didn't want this gift, because the outcomes were producing painful emotions. But the Holy Spirit urged me to pray in a different way. I noticed that God is turning the heart of stone (that I prayed for) back into my heart of flesh. Affirmed by certain attitudes that I take when someone is being petty. Knowing that the original tender version of my heart is who God made me to be. If I even attempt to reciprocate negative energy my spirit cannot rest. My thought lately: "I am not built like that!" Co...

  Coming Back Full Circle Yesterday I had an epiphany. I had become so focused on something that I desired. Allowing this thing to take me totally off of my course. For about a week or so, I had not been able to concentrate on anything else. I then saw a couple of videos that brought me back full circle. (Thank you, Mr. Tony Gaskins, "Why our relationships fail today" and Mr. RC Blakes, Jr. "Why we need Holy Spirit".) This is of God!!! I realized how easily we can become preempted. Making our wants and desires idols. Chosen above God. The idol set before me, had me so "giddy" until I came to the stark realization of the dangers of this disequilibrium. It is then, that I understood how we as a people can become hurt when we are let down by a thing. It is how we lose focus so easily. Straying from our purpose. The very mission that God has for our lives. I Need to Love Me Nevertheless, it is why we must recognize the importance of finding peace and joy in th...

  The Danger of Someone Who is Asleep This will be short and to the point. Listening to a sermon titled, "Are You Ready", brought back to my remembrance something that the Holy Spirit told me a long time ago. At the time, the focus was on infidelity. I was going through a divorce. But the LORD made it very clear that it could pertain to murder, lying, stealing, and every other work. If someone says that they love, you and you have found out about an egregious behavior, hidden from you. And even after it is revealed they persist in lying or trying to minimize the situation. Then most dubiously, attempt to blame you for their actions. But can sleep soundly. Having done so even before you were cognizant of the circumstances. Then there is a blaringly obvious blatant disregard for your well-being and mental health. Please Be Aware This is a savage!!! Your very life could be in peril. Do not deceive yourself by allowing half-truths to be deemed accidental. Besides saying within yo...

  Setting Yourself Up for Sin As I go into the book of Judges, and after Joshua's death, the fleshly nature of the Israelites began revealing itself. The Lord commanded them to drive out all the inhabitants and not to spare or pity them. But why? I will now reference one of my favorite scriptures. Joshua 24:15. Joshua warned the people that the sin that surrounds them is inevitable. "And if it seem evil unto you to serve ye the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve...!!!" Seeing that they were honoring God with their mouths, Joshua was aware that their hearts were far from God. Joshua commanded them to put away their idols. Accordingly, I am adding some synonyms for disobedience: dereliction, neglect, perversity, sabotage, transgression, and revolt. Bringing awareness to why partial obedience is not acceptable. Lukewarm Obedience When you choose to half-heartedly obey the LORD, you are choosing idolatry. Validating that you have spoken in your heart that you love t...

  Standing on Your Promises This morning I woke up thirty minutes prior to a scheduled phone interview with a recruiter from a hospital in my state of residence. She offered me nights and I prefer days. The starting wage is below my worth. Yet, I told her I would consider it. After the Covid, healthcare debacle, I will never understand why employers refuse to recognize the importance of nurses, in every capacity. Furthermore, why would I give them my valuable time and energy? While risking my mental health and stability. Confirming the wresting in my spirit, I saw an interview with Toure' Roberts. He was explaining the pros of saying no and the cons of always saying yes. I will clarify my understanding to the best of my ability because the video disappeared from my Instagram timeline. The Pros and Cons Your yes's can deplete you, severely and holistically. Causing you to miss out on opportunities because you are preoccupied in ungodly situations. The door to spiritual warfare i...

  Indomitable and Omnipotent When Elijah confronted the 450 prophets, he was alone. Even in the presence of all of Israel, he alone believed in one God. Elijah did not waiver!!! The prophets prepared their ox. They called on Baal from morning to noon. As Elijah mocked them, they leaped and yelled louder. Cutting themselves in desperation. It is written that "their blood flowed". Nevertheless, they were willing to die to continue perpetuating deception. Moreover, Elijah began mocking them. Maybe Baal is busy or sleeping. The prophets began to babble dramatically. Probably speaking "gibberish". Pre-eminent Faith Consequently, when Elijah prepared his ox, he went further. First rebuilding the altar of the LORD, Using the twelve stones to represent the twelve tribes of Israel. Despising the altar dedicated to Baal. Likewise, Elijah added a deep ditch and watered everything down. Try to burn wet wood or any item saturated with water. Elijah prayed and the fire of the LOR...